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Busyness from the Yeses

We had our first snow on the mountain last week. The boys were up EARLY ready to go out and play and of course, they wanted me to go out with them. My first thoughts were NOOOO….warm bed…more coffee. And, then I looked in the eyes of our baby who will be 9 years old in a few days and saw how fast it is going by.


“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.” —IAIN THOMAS”


My life is full of thousands of demands, the majority of them resulting from choices I have made. Sometimes I feel yanked this way and that way and this way again. I get totally off-balance. Of course, as I tip the scale to completely off balanced, I always wonder how it happened. I know, it is silly, as if it was not building with every time I said the word “YES” . Y-E-S, the three-letter word that I said one too many times that week  is the culprit.

I read in James 1:8  where is says “A doubleminded man (or woman) is unstable in all he does.”


There are women who always say yes to the Lord and no to the world. I am always in awe of them. Others say yes to the world, but no to the Lord. But the doubleminded woman says yes to everything. Yep, this is me.

Consequently, I am off-balance like a high wire artist that has not had enough sleep and loaded up on coffee teetering dangerously on the wire, leaning one way, then the other. Her arms flailing, yelling out for help,  a cataclysmic fall waiting to happen. Oh, just a hot mess.


I do not want to be doubleminded, and I bet most of you do not either. But, how do we know when to say yes and when to say no. Oh, the question of my life sistahs. How do I say NO when it is the better answer? Should I spend more time using Evernote so I am more organized, I know that Rescuetime has highlighted my time online in a way that is not pretty. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am not disciplined enough.

What I am learning as a people pleaser: If I’m always trying to meet other people’s expectations,  I’m not living life for God’s priorities, but for other people’s priorities. All of my yeses are, by default, forcing me to say nos to better things.


So, I have been weeding them out.

Choosing the things that I want to do, businesses I want to work with who are morally sound, focused on people, not fame and money. Surrounding myself with people that are fountains and not drains. It is a daily battle. But, one that I am actively fighting now rather than waiting until I am so bombarded that I can not take a swing.

As we launch ourselves into holiday season hoopla, I am striving to be conscious of the things fighting for my attention. And, as I snuggle every morning with our boys and hug my husband before he leaves for work, I send up a praise for my life, place my hand over my heart and remember, this is what is important.

Staying off Pinterest until next year,
The Park Wife


  1. Yes…just, yes. It is a constant battle for this people pleaser, and one I find myself having to lay at the Cross multiple times a day. I don’t have it licked yet, but God has so much grace it’s getting easier every day.

  2. YES! Fountains, not drains – absolutely perfect. This is me to a TEE and although I realize exactly what saying “yes” when I don’t mean it does to me and what should be important in my life, I still struggle. Time to prioritize! Great post! 🙂

  3. So timely as we move toward the Holidays, and for me personally – I almost had myself worked up to a panic attack last week as I tried to do all the things. It is hard to be a people pleaser, a helper, a fixer, and the balance is so, so elusive. It makes me feel better to know that I am not alone. Beautiful words. Thank you sister.

  4. Sarah Shotts says:

    Amen! About a month ago I hit total OVERWHELM and have been saying “No” to (…almost) every new ask until 2015. It’s so hard!

    Thanks for this blessed reminder beautiful lady.

    Keep it simple sister. 🙂

  5. Yes. Yes. Yes…..
    I’ve written this a thousand times in a “draft” but just didn’t know how to publish. Everything thing on our plate is “good”– but I am missing out on the “best” because I’m trying to live in a season that I’m not in yet. I’m in a season of littles. Other things can wait. Working to embrace that and clear my plate so I don’t miss out on the important stuff by being in a busy frenzy all the time.

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